Tuesday, January 24, 2012

'Charting' Me!


Who am I?

I certainly am not my outer form, I am not the incessant chatter that fills up my head, I am not my Ego....

I am part of the larger consciousness, the Higher Intelligence that 'runs' the universe, the awareness that is even aware of my thoughts and stands silently behind them, observing and listening, inseparable from everyone and everything else around us......

Yet, most of my life I have gone on in an unconscious state, simply acting from my Ego, acting as if I was separate from others and, therefore, in perpetual need of seeking approval, controlling, judging, criticising or at least advising - not always from true concerns for others' well-being and growth but because, at a subliminal level, I had this overpowering need to prove some sort of 'superiority'.

This teaching is at the heart of many spiritual traditions. The crux of our pain (or 'dukha' as Buddha put it) is falsely identifying ourselves with our egoic identities. As I begin to grasp Tolle's teachings better, even to my layman's eye, dots are joining neatly and seamlessly between them and Bhagvadgita's offerings and Zen (the little that I know) and Kabir's dohas....and more. Even momentary awareness of this truth brings instant peace and makes me more effective in discharging my worldly duties.

I have not even scratched the surface so far, of course, much less attained the perpetual joy that must follow. But, with my extremely limited understanding (and nudged by my military mind) I have organised the learning so far in a chart. Here it is:

I am my Ego
I Am
To plod on through life, carrying the burden of my Ego, forever taking counsel of my Ego’s bidding, is my lot. To struggle is my purpose.
To awaken and stay awake is my inner purpose.
At every moment, I am either superior or inferior to another.
I just am.
I judge. I criticise. This tells me I am superior.
I just am.
I am not complete unless I have approval – so I seek it in many guises.
I am complete and do not need external approval.
I am not complete unless I control.
I am complete and do not need to control.
I need to have instant gratification and predictability to feel that I am okay.
I do not need gratification to be in joy; the ‘pain’ of discipline deepens my joy.
I am separate from everyone and everything else – and that is how I treat the world.
I am connected to the universe. I am part of the consciousness.
I live in the past (beset by guilt or emotion about moments that will never be) or the future (and anxieties of unborn moments that might never be).
I live in the only moment that I ever can – now!
I work because it is a chore and has to be done.
I fulfil my outer purpose(s) in alignment with my inner-purpose – with energy, enthusiasm and acceptance.
I am my thoughts.
I am my consciousness.
Life is a perpetual combat.
I live in flow and joy.
I have this perpetual urge to advise others – I know best!
I am immersed in hearing the drum-beat of my inner-self. How can I compulsively prescribe for others?
Disagreement angers me.
I hear with equanimity.
I wrestle with what is. I cannot accept ‘reality’ as is.
I accept.

Friday, January 20, 2012

Mindfulness




A great deal of peace - even 'success in dealing with life's 'problems' - lies in
mindfulness. To be present in the Now is to live in the only moment that one can ever live in. To focus on what 'is' rather than what was or could be is the answer to many questions.

Take eating, for example. I recently browsed a book called 'Mindless Eating' by an author whose name I do not recollect (which gives you a clue to my own state of 'mindfulness'!) The crux of his conclusions is that we eat mainly not because we are hungry but out of sheer reflex which, in turn, is born out of our perceptions, the way the food is presented, the number of people we eat with, our estimate of the size of the helpings etc. The answer to not eating mindlessly, therefore, is to eat mindfully. In other words ‘awareness’ is the key.

This seems to join the dots with Eckhart Tolle’s teachings. Living in the present – in the now – then is the core of the solution. Could it be that when we eat mindlessly we are ‘feeding’ the same ego-body? Could it be that we can turn it around with awareness of the now, of being acutely mindful of how hungry we really are, what and how much we are about to eat and thus side-step the temptations and pitfalls that come our way?

This needs to be explored.

Another thought that came to my mind was that the more a person lives in his or her ‘now’, the greater is his or her situational awareness. How is it that some people remember details such as where they kept their keys, parked their cars or in what sequence even the mundane events happened while others struggle? Perhaps it indicates that they tend to be more in their ‘now’ and thus these things get imprinted in their minds. At that moment, what they are doing is of importance and they are completely engaged (or at least almost completely) engaged with it.
Do such individuals have a lower tendency to operate from their ‘egoic’ selves? Are they likely to be happier, even more successful?

This too needs to be explored....


I am my Ego. Or Am I?


Out beyond the ideas of right-doing and wrong-doing,
there is a field.
I'll meet you there

Sufi poet Rumi

There is a ‘me’ that is inseparable from Higher Intelligence or God. That ‘me’ does not ‘live life’ – it is life itself.

And then there is the ‘egoic’ me - that identifies itself with the outer form, the thoughts and causes all the pain by not letting me live in the Now. This egoic me is one that has become the larger, indeed, mostly the only me. It operates from ego and feeds and strengthens itself. It acts from a position of superiority or inferiority. It loves drama and conflict. It thrives on role playing, never from doing simply.

It is diluted by awareness. The moment I am aware of thinking or acting from my ego, I dilute it. It does not require ‘will power’. It needs awareness.

Ever since I read Eckhart Tolle, I have become more aware of that small ‘me’ than ever before. And a number of things have become obvious simply from that awareness:
The egoic (or small or petty or mischievous) me is, as of now, quite persistent. It pops up all the time and plays mischief. It retreats when the light of awareness is flashed at it.

The moment I refuse to act from it, the world begins to change! Other egos appear to retreat and dissolve too!

Eternal vigilance is needed to weaken this small ‘me’.

The retreat of the ‘small me’ does not imply that I have to retreat from worldly affairs! It is all about the gentle dance between the 'human' and the 'Being' in me. It is about balance.

It is about acting with a detachment from ego.

The word "I" embodies the greatest error and the deepest truth, depending on how it is used.

Eckhart Tolle

Thursday, January 19, 2012

How Do You Do?

In life 'what' you do is important.

But not anywhere as important as 'how' you do.

Indeed, the 'how' is critical. To a point where the 'what' does not really matter.

To be immersed in whatever you do, you bring the very best to it. Whether it is simply paying attention to someone, cleaning your desk, composing a verse, dressing up (don't all the ladies instantly agree?!), savouring food, studying for an exam or taking aim to shoot.....to be one with the Now and completely absorbed in the act itself is what brings it quality.

There is more that examines it.

What is your intent in doing what you do? Are you impelled by the prodding of your ego? Or is it pure love ("the ability to stretch your ego boundaries to accommodate another person for his or her long term good") that lies at the heart of your endeavour? Are you saying or doing something because you must get instant acknowledgement or approval? Or are you, bereft of the burden of ego, simply fulfilling your purpose in life in the best possible way?

The answer to these elemental 'why' questions defines the 'how' of what we do.

And, it is the 'how' that defines our work and eventually us.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

What Is This About?

Now, where was I?

Nowhere in particular, it seems. Generally floundering, often desperately lost, sometimes adrift, occasionally sure-footed…..moving on this journey called life. As you might have too.

Along the way I have hitch-hiked I picked up many maps and clues as I was given the many free rides, some generously by Masters and others absorbed consciously or unconsciously. As you would have too.

In this blog I will share those maps – big and small. To make the journey easier.

A collection of clues. A hitch-hiker's loosely bound guide of sorts to (I know this sounds pompous!) inner galaxy that we all share.

Friday, January 6, 2012

Solar by Ian McEwan

Solar is a story of greed for gratification on a scale that refuses to allow any transgression by ‘love’ or ‘commitment’. Michael Beard, a Nobel laureate and a much heralded genius is also a much married man. His five marriages have floundered without making him a father, a result neither of incapacity nor abstinence but purely of disinclination. As the curtain rises, his fifth marriage is staring at The End and, for a change, it is his wife’s indiscretion that is bringing it about.

But even the staid lives of scientists are not always bereft of drama; a sudden turn of events – dramatic even in its ordinariness (a man tripping over a rug) – sets off choices for Beard that appear to provide solutions to his somewhat messy life. I must take a break from recounting the bare bones of this tale to add that it is precisely under the cloak of such ordinary moments that Ian McEwan tends to hide the tale that he then unleashes on unsuspecting dramatis personae and the reader. Who does not recall the tipping of the porcelain jar into a shallow fountain in Atonement or the slight brush between a doctor and street-side ruffians in Saturday or the accidental unshackling of the hot-air balloon in Enduring Love? In each case, what followed so credibly from the turn of events could hardly have been predicted.

In case of Michael Beard several arrows appear to be closing in on him in a small desert town in Southern US, where he has arrived to unveil his latest and perhaps last magnum-opus – a project to produce electricity from water. None of the arrows is benign and none entirely misses the mark. Yet, in the moment of his catastrophic defeat, for one fleeting moment, Beard experiences an unexpected emotion that even he could not have suspected of possessing.

Ian McEwan draws Beard with great dexterity – there is no reason why we should not loathe the man and yet we might not. He deserves no sympathy, of course; but we might be forgiven if that impulse arises at the very end.

It is another masterpiece – satirical, funny and suspenseful.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

The Bear Trap


The author, then a Brigadier of the Pakistan Army, handled the Afghan bureau of Pakistan's spy agency, the ISI, during the Soviet presence in Afghanistan. Coming from an ex-spy who worked with an organisation known for secrecy, his account is surprisingly detailed. Does it also tell us how the ISI might have attempted to handle its incursions into Kashmir?

The account is straightforward, a planner-trainer-soldier's version of a momentous effort lasting a decade. But one does detect attempts to give some elements a spin. For instance, it is hard to believe that the Soviets would have indulged in such indiscriminate scorched-earth bombing of the civilian population, a stratagem that could have achieved nothing but to pit the entire population against the Soviet Army. Surely, the Soviets understood as well as anyone else that no insurgency has ever been surmounted without people's support. Having said that, I must also admit - in contradiction to my own disbelief! - that the record of Pakistan's Army in Waziristan has been no different. So, perhaps there is enough room for making such obvious strategic errors.

The Soviets come across as less than competent, which is perhaps rather harsh. The Soviet soldier was poorly paid and kitted, tells the author, and a far cry from the resolute patriot that defended Leningrad. This was a war he did not identify with.

The mujahideen emerge as extraordinarily brave, capable of suffering unimaginable privations and steeped in vengefulness. They have also been portrayed as poor strategists and extremely fractious in their efforts. Indeed, it was the weight of their disunity that eventually prevented the fall of Kabul.

The CIA is painted as an agency focussed on ensuring that the Soviets were repaid for Vietnam - and eventually succeeded in that goal. They supplied billions of dollars worth of weapons and equipment, mostly purchased from other countries - including China - and eventually relented to supply a weapon that arguably triggered the Soviet withdrawal - the Stinger anti-aircraft missile. But the Americans too do not come unscathed at Mohammad Yousaf's hands; they lacked understanding of the ground realities, the author tells us.

General Zia also comes across as a scheming but small-minded leader who succumbed to US pressures and kicked the Director general of ISI General Akhtar upstairs when the Americans wanted him too, even though the moment was inopportune from the point of view of winning the war.

The two fascinating chapters in the book relate to the assassination of General Zia. The theory behind the plane crash is developed meticulously and while the author stops short of naming names, the finger is unerringly pointed at the KGB and KHAD combine, with help from within the Pakistan Army.

The other relates to the 'end' of the war. As the Soviets withdrew (under Gorbachev's tutelage, thus making him a darling of the West), it was in their interest to ensure that the mujahideen did not roll over the Communist regime of Najibullah and take over Kabul. Ironically, this was in the interest of the US too! They did not want a fundamentalist regime to assume power. They had driven the Soviets out and that was the end of their interest in the mujahideen. A speedy and smooth withdrawal of the Soviets was in their interest - that would ensure a 'victory'. The author claims that several factors magically combined to help the Americans and Soviets achieve these goals. The Director General of ISI who wanted it otherwise was replaced, the author retired, the successors were inclined to toe the US line, the huge 10000-ton arms and ammunition dump at Ojhri blew up thus choking replenishments for the mujahideen planning to launch attacks on the withdrawing Soviets and the mujahideen planned and executed a poor assault on Jalalabad, resulting in defeat at the hands of the Afghan Army.

A useful account!

Saturday, April 2, 2011

The Idea of Pakistan


had the pleasure of meeting Stephen Cohen when I briefly visited Brookings at Washington, back in 2003. I needed some advice on a career in academia and I had sought audience with a few people in the US - he was one of them. In the half an hour I was with him, I heard in rapt attention as this pleasant man held forth on Kashmir and other topics - precise, knowledgeable and humorous in an understated manner. Several years later, I met him again at the Staff College where he was a visitor and I a 'teacher'.

This is a work of great scholarship. Stephen Cohen has looked at contemporary Pakistan through a microscope - and a telescope! His analysis of how the original idea of Pakistan casts a shadow on its present, the central role of the Army, the reach of Islamists, the apparent failure of the political class, the growing wave of anti-Americanism, the influence of madaris, a faltering economy that appears to be driving towards a precipice and the overall and growing lack of confidence among its people in the correctness of the direction their country is taking.

Cohen builds several scenarios and evaluated them for likelihood and desirability - status quo, Army/ authoritarian rule, full-fledged democracy, Islamist rule, break-up of the nation et al. It also discusses options that America has in dealing with its now-ally-now-headache 'friend'.

Cohen's work is extremely well researched and rings with authority. He argues that, contrary to the opinion of some, Pakistan is not about to become a failed state anytime in the near future. He is, however, not optimistic about a radical turnaround in its current (the book was written in 2004 or so but things have steadily got worse since then) status.

I was also struck by the fact that of all the future scenarios he built, 'liberal democracy' in Pakistan is considered the best for improving the India-Pakistan relations; and yet, that is among the scenarios that Cohen finds less likely to come to life. As in everything else, the Army's role casts a long and unwavering shadow on this scenario.

I strongly recommend this book to anyone having interest in contemporary Pakistan. Even if you end up only validating many of the beliefs that you have held all along, the book certainly illuminates many dark corners with great clarity and force.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini


The tale of Mariam and Laila, two Afghan women united by several tragic tosses of the dice, bond of common humanity and, above all, love, is a heartbreaking story. It is also a ride through the contemporary history of Afghanistan, as seen through the eyes of its powerless women.

This is master story telling – a credible tale, simply told. It hurts and uplifts at the same time. The sheer cruelty that we humans – in this case mostly men – are capable of inflicting in the name of misplaced understanding of duty, ideology, politics and, of course, religion is indescribable and so unforgivable. As I read the story, I felt the pain of a decent and warm-hearted people who are caught up in endless cycle of bloodbath. I know that emancipation of women or fostering of human rights is not among the strategic goals of the Western forces currently combating the Taliban, but having read A Thousand Splendid Suns I hope and pray that the Taliban never again return to power in this nation.

It is natural that curiosity and that natural propensity for passing judgements will drive many of us to compare this book with its predecessor offering by Khaled Hosseini. In my opinion, that exercise is neither necessary nor useful. If you were moved by The Kite Runner, be prepared for another emotional roller-coaster ride that is bound to leave you all churned up inside, yet – surprisingly – thrilled and happy.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Saturday by Ian McEwan



This is a brilliant work that can scarcely be embellished with known adjectives. The story of one Saturday in the life of Henry Perowne, a neurosurgeon, is an extraordinary and loving peek into his soul. A day that is both ordinary and extraordinary reveals the innermost recesses of the devoted family man, competitive squash player, ambivalent right-winger, thorough professional, dissolute cook and, perhaps, much else.
As the story unfolds, tracing gentle contours till it hits a bump or two, one is carried along by the marvelous and exact - but never parsimonious - prose. At every step, one can spot oneself hovering in the backdrop or even inside of Perowne himself. Surely, I too have been here before, even though, God knows, I cannot cut open brains or fish. Or do anything else that Perowne does and can.
McEwan’s book fulfills a profound criteria of greatness – it keeps the bright focus of searchlight burning inwards – our inwards – and persuades, even compels, us to come face to face with our own anxieties and fears, emotions and feelings, attitudes and perspectives. It is a moral book that perpetually nudges us to ask the critical existentialist question, “What must we do?”

Thursday, October 21, 2010

The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen

I had not heard of Jonathan Franzen till a couple of months ago when Time lifted me out of slumber and informed me that he was the current big American novelist, cast for fame – and perhaps immortality – in the mould of Saul Bellow and John Updike. That made me curious enough to scour several stores in two big towns of South Africa till I found one copy of The Corrections. It would not have mattered and indeed it was a bonus that the 650 plus page book was even priced reasonably.

The story of Lambert family is an attractive tale of great sadness. A dull ache runs through the book and as you turn each page, you keep looking for relief that must arrive, perhaps with delightful suddenness. You never lose hope because the characters are not evil; they are simply us. There is always a chance then that a new window would open and defeat the sad gray enveloping the Lambert life. But, as is life, this is not a story with dramatic twists and turns that change the course so suddenly that one has to catch ones breath or say aha! Even a leading character’s fall from a luxury liner fails to alter anything and the trajectory corrects itself into a smooth wave again. In fact, if it were a film, it would masquerade as a reality-show like documentary, where the characters had no clue that they were being filmed incessantly. It rings true to life and one can trace bits of oneself littered innocuously across the pages, some that have already been lived and other, one suspects, might be lived a bit later.

I wish I could put my finger on one thing and say that this is a book about ‘old age’ or ‘love’ or ‘family’ or ‘character’ (Half a dozen more ‘themes’ readily spring to mind); It is hard for me to say it in one word what the background music of this symphony was. But it is certainly a poignant tale, one that makes issues of responsibility, loneliness, love, selfishness and individuality fellow-travellers on one journey, sometime walking on different paths but always converging and looking in each other’s eye for answers.

It is an enjoyable read, of course, but, for me, had several stretches that were relatively pointless – Albert Lambert’s tryst with his turds, for example – and the writing is deliberately not ‘tight’ in most part. Like most things American, it is a big book that takes a very small slice of time and spreads it delightfully on a large canvas, celebrating each detail with every stroke of the brush. Franzen is no Ian McEwan (one of my favourite authors) and he isn’t so by choice. By the end, it became very clear to me why, when posed the question, McEwan forgot to mention Franzen as a great contemporary American novelist.

For me, much as I enjoyed the book thoroughly, even I – with my extremely limited familiarity with English literature, mind – would hesitate to pin the lapel of greatness on this book.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

The Long and Winding Road



When I sat down to write this piece, I wondered if HIV infections - and its dreadful consequence AIDS - make for a suitable subject anymore. Hasn’t all that needed to be said already been said? Haven’t the horrendous reach of the affliction in the land we live in, the heart-wrenching human story, the pathos and the urgency of meeting the challenge already filled up all the print space – and all of our consciousness? Are we not oh-so-completely aware of statistics like over 23 percent incidence, the problem of the ‘missing generation’, the budding adolescents who embarked on the journey of life with the unwanted inheritance of disease already stamped into
their fibre, the hapless women who may not be in control of their own destiny and the dispossessed strung out in inaccessible areas unable to benefit from the growing support system and the contours of the massive combat that is underway?

It has been some time since I began to educate myself on the extent and depth of this issue that stands between progress and decline like a demon with arms crossed over its chest and defiance in his eyes. There are several questions I have been asking myself:

What is the true dimension of the problem?
Do we really have a measure of it or are statistics the convenient pegs on which the issue has fuzzily been hung?
Are we rising to the challenge or has rigor mortis of hopelessness begun to stymie our efforts?
Are we winning, losing or running hard to stay in place? How and by when can we beat back the
scourge?

I have adopted the route of observation and anecdotes to arrive at my own conclusions. This is no scholarly research – I flinch when I use the words ‘scholarly’ and ‘research’ – but a layman’s journey to understand one issue bedeviling the country I have come to love so much. As we go along, I hope to share my stories and conclusions here with fellow travellers.

Today, I want to begin with the end. What is it that, in my opinion, should lie at the heart of the matter? What is it that we, the civil society, should do to lend our shoulder to this gargantuan enterprise in which the government, the professionals and the NGOs are so deeply engaged?

It would appear to me that two picket fences separate us from the road that lies ahead. I call it a 'picket fence' because one can see the view across it and
with some effort, it can be torn down too.

One, there is the real danger of getting tired of spreading the message against the causes of the pandemic. Sometimes, sheer repetition can lead to ennui and enervation. No matter how horrendous the problem, human mind – individually and collectively – can begin to exercise
‘acceptance’ simply because there appears to be no light at the end of the tunnel. Some call it denial. Many a society has lulled itself into beliefs that flew in the face of all rationale. This is a challenge we need to guard against with persistent determination. No matter how long and arduous the road and how elusive the success, the messengers and the warriors must not allow inertia to chip away at the heroic battle that is underway.

More heroism, not surrender, is the need of every hour till we have the issue by the scruff of the neck.

Two, we must work towards destigmatization the existence of the problem. Once the matter is seen for what it is – a disease like any other that need support not shunning – communities will begin to engage in the effort far more than has been the case. There are successful stories from elsewhere – Uganda for example – where it was the civil society that became the biggest support system for those who were affected. I am no expert (of course!) but perhaps that is where the salvation lies. It is the community that can take charge and spearhead the battle;
that will only happen when layers of stigma are peeled off and the problem is looked at in the eye – not with shame or aversion, but unblinkingly, and with love.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Eavesdropping on Satyajit Ray

In The Argumentative Indian, Amartya Sen invokes Ray to propagate his view that it is possible - indeed desirable - to completely retain 'indian-ness' while remaining open to other cultural influences. He provides an insight into Satyajit Ray's approach and thoughts; speaking of the problem of making films that contain nuances of language and so on that the foreigner may find hard to grasp, he says:

Such difficulties and barriers cannot be avoided. Ray did not want to aim his movies at a foreign audience, and Ray fans abroad who rush to see his films know that they are, in a sense, eavesdropping. I believe that this relationship of the creator and the eavesdropper is by now very well established among the millions of Ray fans across the world. There is no exception that his films are anything other than the work of an Indian - and a Bengali - director made for a local audience, and the attempt to understand what is going on is a decision to engage in a self-consciously 'receptive' activity.

In this sense Ray has triumphed - on his own terms - and this vindication, despite all the barriers, tells us something about possible communication and understanding across cultural boundaries. It may be hard, but it can be done, and the eagerness with which viewers with much experience of Western cinema flock to see Ray's films (despite the occasional obscurities of a presentation originally tailored for an entirely different audience) indicates what is possible when there is a willingness to go beyond the bounds of one's own culture.

Sen then quotes Ray:

There is no reason why we should not cash in on the foreigners' curiosity about the Orient. But this not mean pandering to their love of the false-exotic. A great many notions about our country and our people have to be dispelled, even though it may be easier and - from a film point of view - more paying to sustain the existing myths than to demolish them.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Steve Jobs on Life

Knowing the purpose of life, and investing time and effort only to it are the keys to fulfillment.

There has to be 100 percent integrity in using one's time, without any exceptions for self-gratification.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

When A Crocodile Eats A Sun







When I began reading it, I was cautioned that this is a White man’s version of contemporary Zimbabwe. Even if I assume that it does suffer from that implied infirmity of bias and discount for it, the narrative is moving, heartbreaking and compelling. It rings with credibility. It is a tale of twin and parallel furrows of despair and love, of hopelessness and courage, cruelty and generosity. And yet, this is no outpouring of bitterness alone; just beneath the surface hope for humanity is visible, swimming serenely, waiting for its time to rise.....

This is a tale of the family of ex-policeman Peter Godwin as it negotiates an increasingly bleak and even cruel landscape in the country of its adoption. It is a human story that makes the contours of political and economic life in contemporary Zimbabwe rise in relief and we see a vivid picture.

Zimbabwe: the horrors of land-distribution, the sheer anarchy, the dark despotic shadow over millions of lives and the de-humanizing of a generation or more are a – for want of a better word – madness that has afflicted it, like the disease of a moment of passion. One aging man appears to have put Zimbabwe into an unstoppable tail-spin that can have but one ending. Or so one fears.

Reading it, I once again marvelled at the miracle of neighbouring South Africa and silently thanked Him for Nelson Mandela. In the post-apartheid decade, this country too could have careened onto the path of vengefulness. It too could have unleashed the pent up fount of vitriol and, in the name of ‘righting the historic wrongs’ destroyed a beautiful country. Even today, the fears of a Zimbabwe-like slide have not entirely stopped haemorrhaging; we can hope though that with the horrendous example of Zimbabwe to learn from and with the passage of each year, that ominous spectre will fade beyond retrieval.

The book is lovingly crafted, each sentence a surprising necklace, studded with imagery that shines and shines in its own lambent brilliance. Sunday Times blurb on the cover got is exactly right, “A moving meditation.....”

Sunday, May 23, 2010

The House on the Hill


32 - mostly retired - people live in Haga Haga. These include the couple that run The Store – the only grocery in the village – and, of course, Mark and Liz, the gracious owners of the House on the Hill.

The Hill can only be reached by a gravel road that winds through a fenced area on either side for some fourteen kilometers of up-and-down, before sliding towards the sea and losing itself among houses, and a solitary hotel. Like everything else, the hotel overlooks the ocean that sweeps gentle breeze through its portals, caressing table cloth in an open bar, where later I was to wash down a mean Lasagna with an unapologetically sweet Martini.


There are no street lights in Haga Haga; indeed there are no streets beyond brown etchings on the slope. There are very few sign posts either and Mark, who magically appeared out of dark in his bakkie to receive and guide us, confided that the community wants to keep the landscape as unspoiled as it can.

The community in question is also very warm and friendly but there is no unanimity for pining for more tourists. That might attract crime to this haven, some feel. Right now Haga Haga is an island of peace where its inhabitants are happy to remain unseen by passing ships wanting to berth. The worst that can happen here is an occasional petty theft by men or monkeys clambering over walls. Dogs, even benign ones, ward off both.

The original visitors came here more than a century ago, farmers from Transkei and elsewhere, caravans of wagons snaking to the hill. They parked themselves on the slopes while their oxen grazed freely. Legend has it that commandeering those animals to water needed vocal persuasion; shouts of ‘haga haga’ were found to work the best. There are stranger ways a village can acquire its name but this is right up there among the quaint.

Mark is of Irish lineage and is quick to assert that he is a South African first and last. Liz was born in Scotland. On our request they join us for a drink and we are rapidly and interestingly made richer in our understanding of a microcosm of South Africa. We also hear what we have heard before – most Whites did not support apartheid. They might have been beneficiaries of that abominable system but that often fails to reflect the fact that many never supported the authors of this practice, the National Party. They are proud South Africans, not visitors to a distant land. I detect no rancor in their description of the changes that have come about since 1994. But more than once, I feel a pulsating unease of the approaching unknown.

We walk the beach on a cloudy and cool day. The dog from the house accompanies us with the studious air of a reticent guide. Once he senses that we are not visibly grateful for this effort, he jettisons our company for a while and swims in a lagoon. The water is cold and he enters it gingerly, bringing memories of my own childhood winters when I would skirt the shower till I could no longer defy my mother's stern encouragement from outside.

The sea is in low tide, baring a forgotten battlefield of black coral reef. The sand is pleasantly damp all the way to the hill, marking the impressive nocturnal reach of high tide. Inland, two young men wade through a lagoon, carrying strange contraptions. I join them to learn how to catch sand crabs for fish-baits. You push a giant tubular syringe shaped squirt-gun into soft sand beneath still waters and suck up as much sand as you can. Decant it into a net and voila, you have a few captive crabs, tremulous and confused by the sudden change of light and air.

Another older couple complete the instant demography. The man is standing in knee-deep water waiting for fish to take the bait. There has been no luck so far, he tells me but I sense from his sun-beaten face that he has seen enough not to be disappointed over it.

His wife Elizabie sits on a rock, watching birds. She has an illustrated book in Afrikaans to help her. They are farmers, she tells me, and were neighbors of the recently killed white supremacist leader Terry Blanche. I ask her if it was true that he was butchered over pay dispute. She rubbishes it out of hand and offers me a credible alternative argument that masquerades as evidence of darker designs. She would not say who engineered the murder but there is apprehension pealing through her voice like a distant fire brigade engine.

They are farmers and this is not the first time in the past year and a half that I have noticed stark uncertainty among this community over the trajectory their future might take. There has been no Zimbabwe style attempt to grab and redistribute land in South Africa. No horrors of the sort that Peter Godwin chronicled in When a Crocodile Eats the Sun. Yet, there is a palpable throb of anxiety that neither bursts nor disappears. Incidents like the gruesome killing of Terry Blanch and the diatribe of some youth leaders of ANC in its wake can hardly help.

Elizabie slowly warms up to me and reveals such remarkable layers that in turn warm the cockles of my heart. She is quite clearly a serious bird-watcher. She points out a seagull to me, identical in detail both on the sand and on her page. She is a farmer and tends 150 cattle-heads. She is also a tennis coach and only recently decided to lay down the racket after 32 years of smashing the ball around. She has 18 gold-medals for cross country wins. “I am quite well-preserved” she tells me, “and I still run with these legs.” But now her effort is limited to 4-km races, she says with sincere regret. After all, she is in her mid-sixties now.

Elizabie knows a great deal about India. She agrees to pose for me and insists on writing down my name in her book, next to the seagull she had introduced me to.

Farmers are not the only ones that live in uncertainty. In post-apartheid era, business owners were asked to have black-partnership in their enterprises. Some were forced to transfer majority shareholding and a few chose to give up painstakingly built businesses instead and took up fresh vocations. Even large grocery stores were affected. These had traditionally ‘supported’ the community by offering wares on soft loans. Once the store was no longer viable, the owner quit. It was like taking away the oars of the entire community.

Yet, the post-apartheid South Africa is a miracle, conjured by that ultimate magician, Nelson Mandela. There are ripples and undercurrents but the ocean is largely serene.

I watch a brilliant dawn as sky breaks into beautiful azure and bright pink-byzantine, slowly sponging all the blackness out of the sea.

I hope dawns over South Africa always remain the same.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

A Basotho Wedding

We drove up to the mountains to the town of Teyateyaneng (quite a mouthful, I know. Everyone calls it TY) and then branched off on to a narrow road to the village of Ha Mohatlane. Brilliant African skies canopied over us and, as you can see from the picture, massive chunks of pure white clouds rested against the horizon, like elephants in afternoon siesta.

We were on time but like all weddings, things were nowhere near ready. The bride’s wedding dress hadn’t arrived from the shop that rents it for 2500 Malutis. The guests were trickling in. Smell of fresh vegetables being cooked over slow fire was wafting out of a window.

So we decided to explore.

We walked around, looking at the traditional Basotho hut where Mohtalane’s mother stays even today, the tent erected for the ceremonial feast with its rich decoration and the kitchen where beef, chicken, beans, vegetables, salad, rice, maize meal ‘pap’ and desserts were being readied.

Now, the Basotho hut is being very slowly but surely nudged out from Lesotho’s landscape by modern construction. But it is a marvel in itself, this Basotho hut is; its roof is a strong weave of grass that keeps the inside cool during summers and traps heat during winters. Not a drop of water seeps through it, Mohatlane tell me. And you need to change the grass only once in 20 to 30 years.


The weddings here are a two-part ritual; in fact, it is two weddings rolled into one! On Day One, the wedding takes place at the girl's place - church function, speeches and a grand feast. All the main relatives and friends of the groom travel to the girl's place - as this lot did to Mafeteng. They return home that evening with the bride and a couple of her relatives. We met the two sisters who had accompanied the bride.

On Day Two, it is the groom's family's turn to get into the act and another wedding ensues - church, speeches, a photo session and a feast fit for kings.

I met all of Corporal Mohatlane's people - his mother (we chatted, even though I don't know enough Sesotho and she is not familiar with English beyond a word or two!), sisters, wife, children (seen in a picture) and friends. And, of course, we met the groom – Corporal Mohatlane's younger brother – and the bride. We took pictures. Everything looked exotic to us. I am sure we looked no less exotic to everyone else.


The bride looked vivacious and radiant in a flowing wedding dress. During the photo-session (held at Blue Mountain Resort at TY to obtain a backdrop befitting a wedding), she laughed and giggled while the groom looked subdued, even puzzled. In one photo setting, he was made to lie down by her feet. The closest I have seen ‘another ones bites the dust’ in action! So what was on his mind?


Not the dowry. The ‘dowry’ is called 'lobola' and it is paid by the boys’ people to the bride’s family. The initial 'lobola' for this wedding was agreed for 25000 Maluti or Rs 1.5 Lac! And later they might have to pay another installment of the same amount!

Manish charmed many with bits of Sesotho (‘O shabahala hantle’ or ‘you look pretty’, ‘khotso bo n’tate’ or ‘May peace be with you revered gentlemen’ and ‘O phela juang me?’ or ‘How are you Lady?’). I chipped in too.

And I looked at the flowers and wondered if ‘rose’ can ever be any different in any language?

Saturday, February 13, 2010

On the Robben Island



Nelson Mandela spent a greater part of his 27 years in this cell on the Robben island. For many like me, visiting it is a pilgrimage.

Nelson Mandela, who, last week, celebrated the 20th anniversary of the day the South African apartheid regime decided to bring him out of incarceration (he did it with a dinner with his family and his ex-jailer!) is a miracle. South Africa is work in progress, for sure, but the distance it so rapidly put between itself and its immediate past is a miracle too. And the two miracles are completely intertwined.

Posted by Picasa

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Another View from the Cape Point




What is it about oceans that inspires awe? Is it the vastness that instantly brings home our own tiny place in the scheme of things? Is it the unseen retreat of our egos as it cowers in face of evidence of a Higher - indeed a Bigger - intelligence at work?

Deserts inspire too, as due vast blue skies and open spaces. And huge mountains. So the scale has something to do with it, huh?
Posted by Picasa

At Cape Point - Looking Down at the Atlantic Meeting the Indian Ocean



I peered hard and long to spot the 'line' where the Atlantic washes into the Indian Ocean. I did not spot one, of course. I also wondered if the waters of the two were different. And they are!

As we drove down to beaches a few kilometers on either side of cape Point, we found the water of the Indian Ocean distinctly warmer (there being a perfectly geographical explanation) and cleaner. Maybe that was just our patriotism working up. Or maybe the beach was actually neater and cleaner for other reasons.
Posted by Picasa