Out of Hospital!

Finally, we left Fortis and returned home. There are miles to go yet - Daddy is still doing a laboured and halting walker-assisted shuffle twice a day, though the improvement, howsoever slight, is also clearly noticeable.

Now starts the phase of recovery in the familiar environment of home.

Fortis people were magnificent, it must be said. The hospital staff - doctors, nurses, housekeeping assistants - is extremely professional and warm in its approach. It was truly a wonderful experience, in spite of the anxiety and pain we suffered on account of his slow recovery.

Now to different topics...

Hospital - Day Fourteen

If I was asked to give a headline to the day, it would be, "He is back in game"!

He is well and truly back in his orientation. Usually I would have said that if he begins to bully Mummy, it would be the clearest possible sign that things are normal. In this case I will not apply that yardstick; he isn't bullying her, but is back to cracking all the jokes.

He walked twice today. The effort is still clearly massive for him. Often, he needs a break after a few steps. But the progress is unmistakable and it is all in the right direction.

It would appear to me that today is our penultimate day in the hospital. Tomorrow evening we should be home. Indeed, today I discussed the matter with him and he was happy to hear that.

A great deal of effort went into making him walk - most of it his. The other big supportive 'push' came from Sunil who gave the impetus to move him over the initial mental hump. Today, Anju and Sunil returned to Delhi, as did Pallavi and Abhishek.

More tomorrow....

Hospital - Day Thirteen

Lucky thirteen!

The new day began as the last one had ended. Not in our wildest hopes had we suspected that he was about to give us a surprise!

When the physiotherapists arrived, assisted mainly by Sunil, he tentatively began to stand up. All the signs pointed to the repetition of the old script - a tense, reluctance-filled and anxiety-laden effort that invariably ended in heartbreaking failure. Not this time! He began to stand (with a little help) and then move one foot after another, slowly (and somewhat imperfectly).....and then, for the next 15 minutes (and nearly 40 metres) he did not stop! We applauded him from his bedroom through the door to the corridor outside and then back. In the corridor, a number of people stood and admired while we clicked pictures and made a video (you can see these below). As Mummy later put it, "Sara mohalla bahar aa gaya" ("the entire street came out").

Having achieved this first, he ate a hearty meal, wiping every morsel off the plate. And then he slept like a baby.

In the evening, another effort was made, successfully. A shorter distance was covered and the effort needed was greater; clearly the morning exercise had left him exhausted.

All in all a great day, one that almost qualifies to be a 'miracle'. And for me, a great - perhaps the best - birthday gift on my 54th!

More tomorrow...

Happy birthday Dad

Dear Dad

Wish you a happy birthday.

Dadaji's amazing recovery in health today is not a mere coincidence, but an appropriate gift by a higher power for all the extra love and support you have given to dadaji in the past few days.

Will Skype /gtalk with the family soon.

With love

Your youngest monkey

Sid

Hospital - Day Twelve

Another day has gone by without progress. Obviously, it is not for want of effort - everyone is doing his best and today Sunil and a new physiotherapist spent a great deal of time to bring about a change. Later. Bela and Ginni visited and another effort was made.

What is the problem? It is hard to say for sure but a few conclusions are obvious. There is an unknown and nameless fear in his mind that freezes him up whenever it comes to standing up or walking. He is mostly alright when he is reclining; indeed sometimes he is usual humorous self, twisting every phrase to produce a funny variant. But come the time for exercise and standing up, his body goes so stiff that he is trembling and loses all control over his thoughts and even bowels.

This is hugely disconcerting, of course, not the least so because we have known to be a largely fearless and strong individual for all our lives. The physiotherapists and the doctors are struggling with us to find an answer, but beyond understanding that there is a psychological block (perhaps carried over from his ICU psychosis) there have been no sure-footed answers.

It is equally clear that his legs are strong and his upper body too is capable of the effort, should his mind allow him to.

We have to take a call on the 7th of April. The doctors will decide if a change in tack is needed or to discharge him so that the familiar environments of home will hasten the recovery. The latter option requires that we first make the logistical arrangements to take care of him in this bed-ridden state.

This very unexpected twist in the story that began a fortnight ago has impacted all of us. Abhishek and Pallavi came in today and met him. Sunil and Anju have been here for the past three days. Neeti and I are, of course, here.

I must add that through this trial Mummy has shown outstanding character. Sure, she has cried on a few occasions but mostly she has been full of humour, cheering us all up and staying back in the hospital for the last two nights, in spite of her own fragile health.

As I said, a final call will be taken on Saturday. By and large, I am in agreement with the surgeon who did the operation that we must not 'push' him against his fears; that might have greater unintended negative consequence. Instead, patience and care might be the key. That is the route we intend to follow.

More tomorrow.... 

Hospital - Day Eleven

It appears that the 'celebrations' were premature; the 5th of April turned out to be a tough day - indeed the worst day I can think of in years. Daddy went back to his old ways and steadfastly refused to exercise, much less stand or walk. We have been desperately seeking answers behind his reservations - is it a fear, a pain, an unknown anxiety, a what...? But we can't fathom. Every check-up shows that he has the strength and recovery to do something that similarly placed patients routinely do - stand and walk with the help of a walker. In his case, we are drawing a blank and making him angry.

More tomorrow....   

A Happy Postscript: Hospital - Day Ten

Just as we were winding up for the day, Daddy made another effort - aided by Dr Kang, me and a walker - to stand. And, wonders of wonders, he did. He also took a couple of steps; a chaotic and messy effort to be sure, dragging his feet rather than lifting them, but a start all the same. All this while, we held him only in a token fashion!

Here, by the grace of God, goes he!

Hospital - Day Ten

This post is being written a bit earlier than usual as I have decided to take a night's break from the hospital; its been nine days and I feel that I need a visit out of the hospital. I am being replaced by Neeti and her aunt Munni.

At 6 PM, we are still searching for progress. For some reason, Daddy is not standing up. I have spoken to him at length, consulted with doctors, shown him videos of other patients walking around....but there appears to be a strange fear or anxiety in his mind that is preventing him from standing up. Frankly, the situation is becoming a bit desperate.

Sunil and Anju are arriving tomorrow and Pallavi and Abhishek on the day after.

More tomorrow...

Hospital - Day Nine

Another day has come and gone and I am afraid I have no fresh progress to report. It is perplexing why Daddy is unable to stand. He does physiotherapy exercises quite well and apparently has little or no pain. But when it comes to standing with the help of a walker, the situation remains at the starting blocks. It is almost as if he is afraid to stand. We encourage, persuade and cajole. The physiotherapy team does its best. But no go, so far.

He also resists proper diet and medication - that can't be helping the cause.

Tomorrow, however, is another day....

Hospital - Day Eight

The two pictures at the end of this brief post convey a cheery mood. Indeed, when these were taken, the mood was upbeat. But, sadly, these were two of the few brief shining moments.

First the good news. There is progress and slow and ponderous it might be, it is in the right direction. All the essential parameters are good.

What is somewhat worrisome is the slowness of the ability to as much as stand on his own feet (with the help of a walker), much less walk. It is taking four people to make him stand even for a few moments. There seems to be a lack of confidence somewhere that is inhibiting him from standing straight.

Later in the evening when Dr Manuj Wadhwa, the extremely affable surgeon, paid a visit, Daddy tried standing with an effort that was better than all the previous ones. It is obvious that he does not lack the strength - in legs or arms - and will surely surmount the current slightly puzzling challenge.

Our stay in the hospital has been extended by two days and now we are 'scheduled' to leave on the 4th of April. The issue of making requisite progress - be able to stand, walk and visit a toilet using a walker - has acquired some urgency.

Here are the two happy pictures from the day....

Hospital - Day Seven

As per the original plan, today would have been the penultimate day; the discharge had been scheduled for the 2nd. Things have moved rather slowly, however, mainly on account from recovery out of 'ICU Psychosis' and we are likely to be here for another three days.

Daddy is doing well, sleeping reasonably deeply, connecting with everyone and quite determined to make a recovery. But some things are clearly not in his control and, therefore, efforts to make him stand with a walker's support have not been fully successful. He bore far greater weight on his feet today but the exercise was imperfect. He is yet to take the first steps, of course.

Last night, at a quarter to four, he and I had a nice conversation about the period 1960-64, spanning our move from Dharamshala to Shimla and later to Chandigarh, the Indo-Chinese conflict of 1962 and Nehru's death. It was amazing how his mind got stimulated to pick even the smallest details - characteristics of his landlord, a milkman who mixed water in the milk he supplied, my rolling down a slope and getting hurt (I was four years old) and the nicely painted board of my first school, Vidya Mandir. After this little chat, he enjoyed a chilled rasgulla and went back to sleep!